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1968

1969

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1977

Me

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John's hypertextual youth Why? Who? How? Really? Leave this self-indulgent tangle!
Following my success as the primary school's star recorder player, I was a shoe-in for getting one of the comprehensive school's two oboes and the attendant weekly lessons from a peripatetic oboist. Choosing the oboe over the flute, cornet and trombone was easy. As on other occasions, I was influenced by a chance comment by a prejudiced observer, who, for some reason, thought that the oboe had the most beautiful tone. Well, I suppose that when played well, it does have a distinctive, plaintive sound that can be sweetly melancholic. Despite five years of lessons, I never got that sound. There's something about the embouchure that I never could never achieve. So I remained in the class of wailing-cat players (an elite group of failed oboists and violinists, as well as willing bagpipers and accordian players). In the City of Sheffield Schools Concert Band, my oboe was well concealed within a bulging woodwind section, and the brass were always able to drown the lot of us when necessary.

But in 1969 lessons were just beginning. I was handed the valuable instrument with instructions on its care and handling. Within the day I had broken my first reed. This is fairly easy to do: you just plug it into the end of the oboe, then wave the instrument around distractedly. The reed always sticks out further than you think. Fearful that the beautiful instrument was going to be taken away from me, my dad drove me around the music shops of Sheffield in search of a replacement. The plan was to replace the reed without the school or my teacher knowing. We eventually bought one for 18/6 (a lot of money in those days, as the saying goes). My oboe teacher later told me of much cheaper routes to reed satisfaction, and I discovered that even the world of woodwind has a black market underbelly.